Unsatisfied

So many people my age have so much more to show for their lives than I do.

What the fuck have I done up to now?

When to throw in the towel

I hope I'm not overstaying my welcome. It's not my career. It never will be. I know that eventually one day, this will have to become a thing of the past. And I almost feel like some of the pieces are falling into place where I could put this behind me and move on.


But I don't want to. 

Vindicated

When you think that what you are doing may all be meaningless it is so easy to completely lose your way. Something I'm all too aware of.

But at the same time, all it can take is a few words from friends, both new and familiar that can make it all worth while.

Vindication can be so uplifting. 

Getting through

I'm a lazy perfectionist. Quite possibly the most unproductive qualities you could ask for. I want everything to be perfect, yet I can't bring myself to chug through something if there is even the slightest possibility of it falling short of the impossible expectations I set for myself.

So then I settle.

And by settling what I create becomes just a shell of what could have been.

By my perfectionist nature, everything I create I end up loathing.

It's a viscous cycle that eats away at my conscience.

Forever doomed to be unsatisfied with no one to blame but myself. 

Obligatory wtf am i doing first post

A lot of people have been telling me I need a better outlet in life. Said people have also told me that I should start writing again. Didn't feel too great about that though since I gave up writing 4 years ago. But as life accelerates around me now might be as good a time as any to start doing this again.

This however is purely therapeutic and the majority of these posts will end up being private. Occasionally though there will be a special post or two that will warrant a public viewings. Most of you know me though can probably guess right now that they'll probably be angry, disgruntled complaints about just about anything. You have been warned.